Episode 371- What If Mindset Training Started In Childhood with Renaye Thornborrow

Your kid’s mindset is forming whether anyone teaches it or not, and that’s what makes this conversation so important. We’re joined by Renaye Thornborrow, founder of Adventures in Wisdom, who’s on a mission to bring life coaching for kids into everyday family life, with practical mindset skills that build confidence, self-esteem, and resilience. Renaye shares how she discovered personal development early, then asked the question most of us eventually ask: why didn’t anyone teach me this when I was a kid?

We dig into how she turned that frustration into a story-based coaching approach kids actually remember. We talk self-talk as a foundational skill, why the “voice in your head” can either build you up or tear you down, and how parents can listen to a child’s everyday language to understand what they’re believing about themselves. Renaye also explains what makes her curriculum unique: kids learn the brain science behind mindset, including belief systems, comfort zones, neural pathways, and the reticular activating system, so the tools feel real and usable.

We also get practical about when to seek support. Some families look for coaching when a child is struggling with confidence, friendships, school changes, or responsibility at home, while others want to be proactive. We talk about protecting a child’s emotionally safe space, how parents can stay involved, and why decision making has to shift over time so teens can practice independence before they’re on their own.

If you want a clear starting point, Renaye offers simple steps you can try today. Subscribe, share this with a parent who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find these mindset tools.

Transcript

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Welcome And Summit Invitation

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, and welcome to the SG Child Show today. I am really excited to bring to you Renee Thornborough. We are going to chat about some uh projects she's been working on and some things she has to share with us today. But before we do that, hopefully if you this will come out before August 7th, if you haven't gone to register for the 1 in 31 Connection Autism Summit, it will be also August 7th and 8th. If you missed July 31st and August 1st, you can just go head over to my YouTube channel, The SJ Child Show. Click on that live tab, and you can go down and see the summits from the past and this year's summit that will be streamed there hopefully forever. Yeah, lots of great information. I know that those two last days are just full of so much value and the wonderful part about it, all these connections being made. So head on over there. But without further ado, thank you so much, Renee, for being here today with me.

Meet Renee And Her Mission

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Thanks for having me. I'm excited to talk to you about some of your passions and what, you know, kind of drove you into that. Introduce yourself, let us know a little bit about yourself and what brought you here today.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Sure. So I'm the founder of a company called Adventures in Wisdom. And my mission is to help bring life coaching and mindset skills training to kids. So we're helping kids build confidence and self-esteem, learn how to navigate the ups and downs of growing up, learn how to develop self-leadership skills, and learn how to set and achieve their goals so that they can be confident and prepared to thrive in life. And since 2013, I've been certifying coaches around the world to use my work to bring life coaching and personal development to kids. And we're transforming the the lives of children and families around the world.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

I love that, Renee. You know, several, several years ago, I'm also I'm a writer. I have like seven published children's books, but I also have a lot of sneaky writing and that people don't have any idea about that I've written so much stuff. And at one point, I decided, you know, I really feel like kids need a chance to kind of understand their, you know, who they are inside and kind of like, if you will, like manifesting and good intentions and things. And so I wrote this this children's book about and so when you said that, it just reminded me of how much I was thinking of in during that time, how important it is to bring life coaching to kids. So I just love this. I love this topic, love this conversation. How did you get started? What why this topic?

SPEAKER_01 2:49

What drove you to this?

Why Mindset Work Belongs In Childhood

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Well, the seed was planted many years ago when I discovered the world of personal development right out of college. And I remember thinking to myself, why didn't I learn this when I was a kid? You know, it made no sense to me that the personal development world, the life coaching world focuses on grownups when those core thoughts and beliefs that shape who we are and what we think is possible for our lives are formed when we're really young. And I knew that when I had kids one day, I would want them to learn this way of thinking. And through the years, I'd become an expert in personal development mindset work and used it, my tools to create a very successful corporate career, happy, fulfilling marriage, relationships. And then about 24 years ago, I did become a mom, mother of twins. And when my kids were young, I was looking for something to help me teach children about my children about their mindset, but I couldn't find anything out there. There's plenty on parenting and some character development, but nothing on mindset development, really helping my kids learn how to use the power of their thoughts and the power of their mind to shape their experiences of life and who they are and what they can achieve in life. And so I started working with my kids, and sometimes it felt a little lexary, and I didn't want my kids rolling their eyes every time I opened my mouth. So I started writing stories, and that really was when the magic happened because they loved the stories. Most important, they were remembering the concepts and actually using them. And from there, the vision just started to grow. And I retired from my corporate job and was able to take a year off to complete the curriculum and launched Adventures and Wisdom. And that was gosh, it's that was 15 years ago. We've been certifying coaches since uh 2013. So it's been a beautiful journey.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Oh, it sounds like it. And I I'm excited to kind of hear, is this right? Adventures and wisdom. Yes, and wisdom, you got it. Wonderful. I'm excited to hear. Like now that your kids are older, what are what's the feedback? Tell me the feedback you've got from them.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Oh, well, from my kids, I mean, they so appreciate it, but they didn't know anything any different because they were raised with this, this way of thinking and you know these conversations. But what's been so amazing is that because we've had coaches who've been with us for well over 10 years, they've raised their children using Adventures in Wisp 2. And that's what's been amazing to hear the feedback on. You know, it's one thing when you're starting out and you know you've got something that really works and it's having an impact, and you start seeing success stories. But once you start hearing from the impact it's had on children who were raised with this way of thinking, that just yeah, that just warms my heart. I'm I'm just so proud of my children and who they are as people. And just it this work works, and it's a matter of just getting the word out so that more children can be impacted by learning about the power of the mind.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

No, I love that. And let's just preface there's never a time that's too late to start. Never you're listening and you're an adult and you still like to do mindset work, please look absolutely. This isn't about you only have to be a obviously there isn't enough for children out there about this, probably, but it really is just so important to wherever you're at to be able to take advantage of something like this for yourself to drive your own self in forward in in a positive direction. And last year, my husband and I did like about six months. I don't know why I got a little feedback there, a six-month master your higher self course was what it was. And wow, it was one of the most powerful years I think I've ever had in personally, so much growth. And the crazy thing is, is I've come into this year. Now we're already at the end of July. I can't even believe it, but I haven't done all the practices you know that I learned from last year, and it's been a quite a different contrast, right? And and that's okay, like uh you know, we can't always, even though when we know something is great for us, it isn't always in our habits or our daily practices to just keep doing it.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

So absolutely. I mean, I'm still working on these skills, and I've been doing them for decades. I mean, personal development is not a destination, it's a continuous process of learning, of coming back to, coming back to, whether you're talking about things like self-talk or expansive thinking or you know, just grounding yourself, all of those things. It's a practice, and we're never done.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

No, that is the truth. And but I do love the idea and the driving your children in that direction, you know, for their own well-being. And tell us how you like they got started with the stories. Tell us a little bit about the stories and and what that looks like. Do you have you have something you can show us? There's a couple of things behind you.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Anything you can hold up close so we can see.

Stories That Teach Self Talk

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Yeah, absolutely. So I'll share a little bit about the stories and the process and stuff, and then I'll I can share with you a little bit about what's behind me because it's a full curriculum that I wrote. So let me just give you an example of one of the very first things I started to work with my children on was self-talk and helping them really understand about the power of the voice. Self-talk is so critical because every moment of every day we're saying something to ourselves, it's either building us up or it's tearing us down. And most grown-ups aren't aware of it, and kids certainly aren't aware of it. So it's such a critical skill to learn because it impacts our confidence, our self-esteem, how we navigate challenges in life, what we believe is possible for ourselves, and achieving that as well. And so that we actually give this story away for free on our website. So if anyone's listening or watching is interested in getting that, just visit our website. You can download that for free. And that's Adventures and Wisdom. Sorry to that's okay. Adventuresandwisdom.com. Yes. Perfect. Okay. An hour you can be having story time and learning this powerful skill of self-talk with the children in your lives. And even just for us grownups. I mean, it's just so the power of storytelling, it just it has such an impact on our learning for whether we're children or adults. But when I wrote the curriculum, it's a full curriculum, we teach 27 different skills, mindset skills, and we teach children the brain science behind it. So it's really important for me for kids to understand why these skills work, what's happening in their brain, what is their conscious mind and subconscious mind, what are your belief systems, what's their comfort zone, what are neural pathways, what is their reticular activating system? Because when they understand the brain science behind it, they can understand why these skills work for them. And kids love learning about their brain as well. So it's really, really powerful. So it's a full curriculum. So what you're seeing up here, this is just the introduction guide. So we have five, I have five two-inch binders that contain the full curriculum edit. That's not right here, that's actually down here. Oh, wow, lovely. And this down here is what we call my box of wisdom. And inside, whenever we teach a skill, we have some kind of what we call a memory marker or some sort of usually multi-sensory activity or something that kids can remember that skill. So, for example, self-talk, kids love to decorate their own self-talk mirror, which is one of the exercises. So it's more than just a story. We have a coaching story, discussion questions, experiential activities to really support children in applying these skills to their own lives and giving them an opportunity to practice. So it is a full curriculum for each skill that we're teaching. So inside of here is a bunch of little just memory markers that have like the key uh learnings from that particular skill, as well as something it's attached to to help them remember the skill and they can have it in their own room and build their own my box of wisdom as well. So a lot of our coaches like to use puppets. I have a couple puppets down here. Our little wizard, White the Wise Wizard, is the main character who appears in all 27 of the skills. He's kind of like your partner in coaching kids. So they love wizard puppets. And this book right here is just a book that I wrote for parents. And it's just called A Parent's Guide to Life Coaching for Kids. When to add a coach to your parenting team. And for our coaches, they're not there to replace a parent, they're there to be part of that child's team, the parents' team, and really supporting kids and learning these skills, bringing this way of thinking to the family so that the whole family can move forward, just feeling more empowered.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Yeah.

Inside The 27 Skill Curriculum

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Uh okay, good, a good question to ask. When should a family look for someone like yourself and the coaching? Like, do we wait until something you know has happened and then we're in the throes of crisis? And then we have to it's kind of that's what tends to be when we go searching for resources. Yeah, so that's such a great question.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

And let me share first about when I put this whole thing together, you know, for me personally as a parent, I wanted to be proactive in helping my children develop these skills. And when I wrote the curriculum, and what I was really focusing on was reaching my children when they were young in elementary school so they could develop these skills and use them throughout middle school, high school, and beyond. And what's been amazing over the years is how many of our coaches actually use our work not only with elementary, middle, but also with high schoolers and sometimes even adult clients. And it's all about the power of storytelling. But as far as when, so parents, we see two camps. The vast majority of parents we see who will reach out for one of our coaches, they see their child struggling a little bit, maybe wilting a little bit in front of their eyes. It could be self-esteem, confidence. Maybe they have a big change coming up, whether it's changing schools or they're moving homes, they might have some friendship issues, it could be some uh sibling rivalry issues, or just you know, dynamics going on in the home. Sometimes it's around self-responsibility. So the child's not doing their homework or you know, chores or just this nightmare at home. So it's a very a variety of different reasons or you know, problems or challenges that a parent might be seeking support for. And then we have a subset of parents too who just want to be proactive. They love personal development themselves, they've tried teaching it to their own kids, and sometimes they realize that hey, my child needs to hear this from somebody else because they're it's just not getting through, and I'm trying to share it. So we we see that camp as well. But there's, I mean, there's never a wrong time. The right time is any time because the child's struggling or not, these skills help provide this foundation. And it's just so empowering for children when they really learn that wow, how I think about something is going to impact not only how I feel about what's going on, but how I feel about myself too. It's it is life-changing for kids.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Yeah.

When Families Should Seek Coaching

SPEAKER_00 13:35

And let's be honest, how many of us can really say we've actually learned from our kids, learned things about ourselves, about the world, about them, about how to be or how to treat. What do you hear about how the parents may then use this for themselves?

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Yeah, you know, I and I love that. I always say that, you know, being a parent and being a business owner, those are two of the biggest personal development journeys that we can go on. When you're when you're a parent and having your business at the same time, you got the double whammy. Because I started my business, my kids were about seven. But yes, it absolutely impacts the parents too, because when our coaches are working with a child, the they engage the parents too. So they have a take-home sheet that helps continue the conversation at home. Some of our coaches will have a session with the parents themselves. So it our coaches they design their own business. So we don't dictate exactly how they have to work with parents, but some will have them parents very engaged, others, you know, it really depends too on how engaged a parent wants to be.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Yeah. It creates a whole set of languaging and kind of way of being within the family when they go through these learning uh together. Sometimes our coaches will include parents in some of the skills, but but not all, because children really need that kind of emotionally safe space to be able to share what's really going on for them without feeling like they're being observed by a card or someone else in the room.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

I love I love that you make that available, and I can understand how that can be for so many children. And I hope and love to think that my daughter comes to me with everything. I mean, like she has even said to me in the past, like, you know, I'm really struggling, and but I I I just want to talk to you. I don't want to go get a counselor, I don't want to like, I just let's can I just talk to you about this? A hundred percent like, yes, girl. And you know, I've had this opportunity. I have a 26-year-old stepdaughter that unfortunately don't have a relationship, and she's you know, lives in another state, and so it once again, contrast really gives you the opportunity to take advantage and to practice more with a different approach, and so I love that I have this you know role to play now, and I can do it differently than what I learned maybe didn't work so well for me and for someone else another time.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Yeah, and it's just uh that opportunity to be a trusted advisor in someone's life, and as our children get older, the dynamics and relationship can change, and sometimes they'll want to share more than than others. It doesn't mean you're an effective parent if they're not wanting to share more. Yes, but I mean, it's so great that your daughter comes to you about these things, that's phenomenal. Yeah, and it sounds like you're helping her develop the skills too that it's okay to ask for help and to get some support. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

You know, it's so interesting because I started in the very beginning.

Parenting Lessons And Teen Independence

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Really, oh you know what? I know what's going on. I'm so sorry, give me one second. My little soundboard had fallen onto the ground, and so one of my buttons is turned. That is what is all this. Sorry, audience. There we go. Back on track. The oh my gosh, now I'm forgotten what I've said. Holy moly, Sarah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Well, we're talking about the yard, our children as they get older, having a little bit different needs, the conversation changes.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Yes, yes. And it oh, that's what I was gonna say. The beginning, you know, in in the beginning of understanding that I had this, you know, new opportunity to be able to uh create a new relationship. I went into it with two things. How what did I miss out on when I was growing up? What would I have loved to have been a part of my life in a relationship and meaningfulness and intentfulness? And and then what did I maybe not like so much? Do I not want to continue for myself into another raising another child that is gonna be resentful in the future? But yeah, so right away I was like, I told her, like, you love you first, no matter what. More not, you know, you don't love mom more, dad more, grandma, blah blah blah. You love you, like you are like you come first all the time, and you know, there's life goes in very different patterns, and sometimes you see that be the ultimate like drive and that independence and that beautiful, like just I don't know, verb that she has to just get things done, but then it rears its ugly head into I'm the only one that matters. So it's it's just an interesting conflict, you know, to give that that opportunity that chance to someone to, but it's also so neat to see the different kind of emotional intelligence and growth that has come from that. I didn't understand until I was in my early 30s to late 30s what my own value was and my worth and how I didn't need to keep you know looking for external things to and I could it was myself, and I wanted her to have that right off the bat. I didn't want her to question what that was like and and have to do that. So we'll see. I'll come back to you and I know it sounds curious.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

You said she's 14, right? So that's prime individuation, right? She's becoming individual from you. So part of those patterns that you're seeing, that's normal for a lot of teenagers, and you know, it's just all part of them figuring out who they are, where they fit, how it's safe to stay connected and yet still be independent. Yeah, and it's just all part of the journey, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

And I always like to remind parents like the whole goal of having kids, obviously, maybe not the whole goal, but literally independence. You want them to be able to be independent and to be able to leave and be able to go, but we miss the part about needing them to leave, to be able to do that, needing them to be independent, to learn how to be independent. And I think that's tricky and hard for a lot of parents.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Yeah, well, it's I love that you said that in our we have two different skills in particular

Teaching Decision Making Over Time

SPEAKER_01 20:57

that we teach. One is about self-responsibility, and the other one is about good decision making that goes kind of in alignment with both peer pressure and setting achievement goals. And what I'd share with is part of this training is that when our children are infants, we make 100% of their decisions for them. By the time they're in high school, we're wanting them to be making close to 100% of the decisions for themselves. Now we can be there as a guidance, but you don't want them to be making decisions for themselves when they go off to college or they move away or whatever happens after high school. They need to have that practice when they're a teenager. Yeah. And of course, you're there as a guide. But this the the more, the faster you can move them across that continuum from making 100% of decisions for them to allowing them to make decisions for themselves, the more ready they're gonna be to be independent and out on their own. And you know, have that confidence and resilience to navigate life.

Big Sisters And Real World Growth

SPEAKER_00 21:56

It brought back the memory to me of since the older one. Had moved away my when she was maybe 11. And I think that that's kind of a prime age when they like you said, they start that really needing that to how do I be independent? That what does that look like? You don't send your 11-year-old out normally into the world. So but I realized that there was definitely a piece missing that I couldn't provide. And so I looked into the Big Brothers, Big Sisters corporation or organization. Yeah. And she got a big sister for a year. Oh, that's awesome. It was the most rewarding experience. And she she's not, she didn't make like this incredible friendship for life, but what she did have were life-changing experiences in the world where she was had to make her own, had to do her own thinking, had to order for herself, you know, got on a train for the first time, went to an event, you know, in a huge crowded public place with someone that wasn't her parents. Um, and just these little things that I saw grow and grow and grow. And oh my gosh, I was just so grateful. And at the end of the year, when I said, Do you want to continue? She said, No, I'm good. I'm good. And we told them, you know, thanks so much. And and that was it. And it was never any like hurt feelings or or you know, anything. And I just I know that it it was probably so much growth for that big sister as well. So absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

To have that type of an impact on the child is just, I mean, it just it fills people up.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

It just yeah, isn't that

Simple Steps Parents Can Start Today

SPEAKER_00 23:43

the truth? What kind of goals should we start just today? Give us a you know, a one, two, three, do this for yourselves and help your kids learn or something.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Yeah. So, you know, for parents, I would start with self-talk because it's such a powerful skill and it can change the dynamic and conversation in the whole family. So that one's really, really important. And then the other is just to listen closely to your child's language because that is self-talk. That's gonna like give you so much insight into how your child is experiencing life. And then similar to what we're just now talking about, is just understanding how important it is for our children as they start growing to start stretching outside of their comfort zone. It's okay for them to fall down, it's okay for them to be scared about something. You know, the more they do those types of things, the more it's gonna build their confidence or that they're gonna be ready to be out there on their own. And you're not don't have to worry about them because it's like you know your child's gonna be just fine when they're out there, whether it's a sleepover or overnight camp or whatever the situation might be. And then just there's no such thing as perfect. Just you know, self-compassion for yourself and for your child on this journey. It's a personal growth experience for us too as parents. And you know, now my children are grown, they both live you know away from home and have their own lives, and but I'm still connected to them, and you know, we communicate almost on a daily basis through like text and then you know, calls and stuff. We're very, very close relationships, but too, it's just knowing that that's what you're moving towards is for them to have their own lives and be productive and just create those memories while you can because the time goes by fast.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

That's so beautiful, and it's the truth, too. And all goes by fast, it's all so much that you really need to stay in the moment on so many levels to really not regret later on that you didn't spend time or you didn't try, you know, to help your your kiddo with their mindset and things.

Resources Where To Learn More

SPEAKER_00 25:53

So definitely for those of you listening, adventures in wisdom.com, uh, those of you watching, you can see it on screen. Make sure that you go and check it out and and check out the curriculum and any other resources. You said there's a free, there's a free book on there. Please look into that. And I'm sure if you have any quest questions, you can reach out to Renee and her team and and find out. No, where are you at? I didn't even ask in the beginning. Where are you located? Well, we're based in Austin, Texas.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

That's where I live, but we've got coaches all around the world.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Wonderful. Oh, I love that. And you know, thank heavens for the era of online community. And to do this because we may have never been able to meet otherwise. And it's been such a pleasure to have you on today and to talk about this.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

And well, wonderful meeting you and good luck with your event. It just was such a beautiful, beautiful, you know. It's such a critical topic, and we're looking forward to sharing it on our social media.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Oh, I thank you so much for that. It's gonna be such the power that comes from some of all of the speakers, and because they just they're putting all of their passion into it, and and you feel that, and it comes across. And the other events in the past have had is, you know, one of my friends says it's a love fest. You just go and you feel so great, and you leave, and you're build up, and everybody's buzzing. Yeah, it's it's one of the best things that I've ever made the decision to do. So fantastic. Thank you so much for your time today. Thank you for your dedication to making children's lives just better through their mindset, which I know works for me and for my kids. I see it, you know works in your life as well. So, listeners and viewers, I hope you take advantage of this to look into adventures and wisdom and just think about how you are helping your kiddo develop their skills for you know mental capacity in the world. So uh thanks so much again, Renee. And I hope you're a wonderful day, and we'll definitely be in touch. Fantastic. Adventure well. Thank you. I love that.